Maybe this dude is a bit too colorful? Either way, he speaks the truth: dreams are crazy. Watch for 5 crazy facts about dreamland.

“Oh, the penguins deserve better. Spread the love… Beaky twats.”

Talk in your sleep? Adam does, and he says some pretty f*cked up things. Read all those nighttime murmurings on Sleep Talkin’ Man, a blog Adam’s wife started. There’s even some audio of Adam, along with mugs, T-Shirts, underwear, and ringtones. Maybe one sweet day the Dream Blog will have its own merch.

But hell, you say, isn’t sleep talking a parasomnia disorder that does NOT occur during dreams? Well, yeah, Adam here isn’t actually talking out his dreams, but one does wonder whether these surreal one-liners come from the same ethereal origin as dreams.

Here are some of my favorites recent quotes from Sleep Talkin’ Man:

“Just hold that thought for a seriously long, rectum-pinchingly time.”

“Why don’t you stand in fuck-up corner. You can stay there ’til, I don’t know, I-don’t-give-a-shit-about-you ‘o clock.”

“Why don’t you make your mouth useful. Say goodbye.”

“I love breasts,

just not on me”

“I completed all the puzzles and stuff and became

The President of the United States”

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This is last night’s sleep. That’s right, when I closed my weary eyes this spiffy iPhone app recorded my sleep cycles, measuring how much I tossed and turned. As the graph rises, I am thrown into the mischievous clutches of the Sandman–I was dreaming. Then I fell out of that dreamworld again, continuing the after-hours roller coster. After comparing it with other nights, not so sure I slept too well. I’m honesty not being paid for this product placement, but check out the app, it’s got a fancy alarm clock function, and I think its a buck. Record your cycle and upload it.

“And then a GIANT came and I was like

DAMN

I don’t want to fight this giant…”

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“In my Dream,

I had written different endings to

the Harry Potter Books.”

“I look up and this

wave of blood

hits the house.”

*I want to make a disclaimer that i do not support state sanctioned criminal activity, including armed paramilitary groups.

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“There’s like…an

asian yoga class

going on in the background”

“We thought he was dead.

But no, he

wasn’t dead.”

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